Aiba Peace

aside from that.....

aside from getting involved with clients that make me re-think why I am still doing design and not just straight up visual arts....

Andrew applied for a welding course. We just hope he gets approved for the course, and then for student loans. I know how it felt waiting to find out. I know it would crush his spirits if he wasn't accepted for one. So I am hoping all goes well for him. I am very proud.

I've managed to lose 30 pounds!! I cut my portions, I don't drink pop or eat chips (except for unsalted, organic tortilla chips) and no candy bars, dark chocolate only. Treat foods are just that, treat foods. I try to eat as organic and raw as I can, leaning towards a paleo diet, but not 100%. I still eat some breads.

I guess what really got me started was the realization that the food I was eating, wasn't really food! It was all manufactured and processed. There were ingredients I could not pronounce, and ingredients that did not have to be there, they were only there to prolong the shelf life-preservatives.

I'm also hypothyroid and really shouldn't have a lot of soy, but the majority of processed foods have some type of soy in them! Or canola.

I use coconut and olive oil now, and avoid canola oils. I also cut back on bread, and if I do eat it I chose spouted wheat when I can. I eat beef that is grass fed, and eggs that are free range. I also experiment with making my own almond milk, almond butter, etc. I cook a lot more, and we don't order pizza every week. We do go out to eat on saturdays that I am not working, but we are trying restaurants like calactus, which is a vegan/vegetarian restaurant, and Cafe Archibald- who are known for their crepes, and grafitti which is a greek restaurant. We don't do fast food anymore. I find I don't even want fast food.

I have cut my sugar intake down, but I will NOT use substitues, since they are chemicals. I will use honey as an alternative. I eat a lot of avocados, cucumbers and spinach now. breakfast may be a banana with peanut butter, unsweetened if I have it available. I naturally started drinking more water and tea, and where I used to drink a lot of coffee I naturally cut back. I don't crave it. Maybe because I don't need the caffeine anymore. Tonight I am late going to bed (because I am still worked up about certain things) but I tend to go to bed at about 10:30 and wake up around 7 and I feel awake!

I walk a lot more, and just got a new cruiser bike that I love to use! :)

Summer is here! I hope to drop some more pounds! yay!
Aiba Peace

dear journal

So, I started a written journal at the beginning of the month. It's a cute little owl journal that I got from chapters. I want to write in it all the time, but for some reason I don't want to write more than once in one day. Not sure if that just makes me weird or what.

Anyway, for some reason I have been really reflective lately. Not sure if it's the change in season, or my change in age. Yep. I hit 30 in August.

It's strange, people have told me you feel the same, but I don't. Well, physically I feel the same... but a few months before I turned the big 3-0 I started changing. For one, I started to really want to put on make up, do my hair, accessorize and co-ordinate my outfits. I am still new to, I don;t look like a complete freak, but I need to buy more clothes that I can mix and match with. Right now I just have a couple of new clothes that I am trying to make work with some of my older clothes and it's not working out as planned. Although I have gotten a few nice outfits out of one...not sure what to call it, it has sleeves (short) but no buttons, and you just wear it over another shirt. Well, anyway. You get the idea.

I was thinking about it and realised that MAYBE it's my sub conscious self trying to keep myself looking young, because I feel like I am old. I know I am not. I still look young, but I have worked it into my brain that I'm not.

Also, while I still love Japan and Korea (even if they don;t love each other) I find I am becoming more and more interested in European history and culture. Especially Victorian history. But, I find I want to go to England and France more than I have ever wanted to. I also am wanting to refresh my French skills and FINALLY go for my beginners course. Yeah, I've never driven before. But, in my defence, living in the city I never had to....(until this current bus lockout which has lasted the entire summer and is still going)

I'll probably never afford a car. well, maybe I would, but it's not in the near future. BUT, I think it would be an asset to have a license and it would be good all around.

I just need to get my ass in gear and study the handbook.

Also been painting more than ever. Mostly Owls. But i was just asked yesterday to paint a VERY LARGE mural. A little intimidated, but willing to take up the challenge. :D

Well, I better go eat some lunch. Today is my evening shift )12-9) Luckily I only work them once a week.

  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative
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Aiba Peace

I feel like a douche

Ok, just watched a video that was recorded on my birthday made by a 28 year old who was dying of lukemia. He passed away today.

Thinking back about how I was upset on my birthday because it wasn't going as I had planned....I feel like the biggest douchebag ever.

To see that someone was suffering that badly while I was just upset over something so trivial really makes me want to kick my own ass.

I do know that I will continue to be emotional over trivial things throughout my lifetime, and I know there will always be many people suffering at the same time. It happens. We are all human. But, to actually SEE really shook some sense in to me.

I should not have taken something so trivial to heart. I feel that I try not to take things for granted. Trust me, I am not the type of person who thinks "It will NEVER happen to me" Although, if it does happen I may be one to ask "WHY is it happening to me" but I would not think that it can NEVER happen. (if that makes sense) But I can never truly understand what people who have suffered like he has (and their family) have gone through. I will never make a statement "I understand" to someone. I can truly say that I understand what it's like to lose a loved one. I was especially close with my grandfather. He passed away 10 years ago (july 25). But his passing was sudden, and not a lengthly process.

I really don't know which would be worse. Suddenly or over time. I know that I never had a chance to say goodbye, because I was out of town that day. I know that my mother had a chance to go in and say goodbye to papa before they took him off life support, but she was too upset that she couldn't bring herself to do so. I am not upset with her for that, but I know had I of been there I would have taken his hand and told him it was ok, and that I loved him.

I'm not sure if I believe in an afterlife. I like what Carl Sagan's wife had to say about her husband after he passed "I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful."
I believe in that we only have one life, and we are all lucky to have had the chance to be alive. I think it's by chance that we were born and grew up to be who we are. Nothing more. But.I am glad to be alive, and glad to have met all the people I have.

But now this post is turning in to something else completely.

But I just want to say that while I will probably be a whiny little bitch over stupid things, I always want to continue to appreciate the life I have. I also appreciate LJ, as I can write things out. I find after I write them out I feel much better.
Aiba Peace

birthday part 2

Ok. So, while things didn't go as planned, I realised I over reacted. I think I am still sensitive over turning 30, and had these notions about the perfect day. After I was by myself for a bit, I felt better.

Andrew and I went down to sobeys and got some chicken and a tiramisu desert. ;p He has been very supportive today, and I love him to bits.
  • Current Mood
    okay okay
Aiba Peace


So, here is where I sound really selfish about my birthday. So please ignore this. Thanks.

So, I'm 30 today. I've been dreading it ever since I turned 29. I really liked being in my 20s, and wish I could still be in them. Everyone keeps going on saying, well at least you are not --- (insert older age) or how it doesn't change who you are, age is just a number...etc.

I know all that. I am also sure I will get over it as time goes on. I just need some time to adjust, and get used tothe fact that I am no longer in my 20s.

I know I have been saying it a lot over twitter and facebook. I think it's just me trying to get used to saying I am 30. It seems like the more I say it, then I will get used to it. It's only my birthday today, so I am not used to it yet, but I guess I will have to accept it.

That being said, the type of person I am is loving all the attention. Yes, I was an only child and I am obviously a Leo. I am very thankful for the birthday wishes. Especially on facebook. People who I didn't think would bother to wish me a happy birthday (people who I haven't really seen in many years/highschool people) did.

Thank you.

But, it seems like every time there is a day that is just for me, someone in my family makes me cry. Not intentionally. I guess, when I am trying to treat this as a special day, other people just see it as just another day.

I thought I was told by my grandmother that someone would be coming to get me around lunch time. I thought we would gather at my grandmothers apartment, and just hang out, and chat, and have fun. Then, when my mother finishes work at 4, we would ge ready for a birthday supper.

It was nothing extraordinary that I wanted. I never had a surprise party ever (though it would have been nice to experience some kind of a surprise party) I thought I understood what the day was going to be like...

Finally, I called my grandmother to see what was going on. Why no one came to get me, or called. She said my visiting family (uncle, aunt and cousin) went out shopping, and she was cutting potatoes for potato salad. She said she would cook a birthday dinner.
She said my uncle had no room in his truck to get me. She said my mom was working until 4, and my other uncle was only coming at supper time. She was too busy to come get me. I told her she didn't have to cook, but then she said she couldn't afford to take everyone out to eat. Thats not what I meant. But anyway....

Also, my best friend couldn't get the car from her mother. She had said she would take me to the beach. When I turned 26 or 27 I spent the evening swimming in the ocean. It was dusk, and it was the most relaxed I have ever been in my life....I wanted that feeling again....but then I tend to go trying to re-create past feelings and it never seems to work out, ever. I'm the fool there.

Also, I;m not upset she can;t take me. It's not her fault. I'm just upset that things like this usually happen on my birthday...or even when I graduated, both high school and college...they were just treated as if they were any other day by everyone but me. I of course got my hopes up....

Don't really know why I still get my hopes up, never really has done much for me.

I know this sounds totally selfish. Any oter day I would be fine. Any other day I would have waited until 4 to go to grannys, I would have said "next time" to my best friend b/c we can't go to the beach. But today. it's hard to take today.

But, I understand today, for everyone else, is just another day.

I think I will start treating birthdays like just another day. Not like I want to get any older anyway.

And this, my friends, is why I don't want to get married and have a wedding. Because I know I will end up thinking it's my special day, and be brought down a few notches because things like weddings and birthdays are just like any other day to other people.

/end selfish rant.
  • Current Mood
    discontent discontent
Aiba Peace


I used to be such a devoted livejournalist. Now what happened?

Hm. I went to Japan and haven't written much since I think. Haha

Well, I am taking Japanese lessons now. My teacher just went home to Hiroshima
for a few months so I Have been slacking. :O

MatsuJun Glasses Troublemaker GIF


Well, I am not going to do my usual - go back through my calendar and pick out the best of each month, year end special- this year. lol. No patience for that. Plus, I think the end of the year would be blank since I haven't really written in this thing for a while.

I used to write in here a lot actually. I wonder why I stopped? In any case, I just wanted to Wish my friends list a Very Happy New Year. I wanted to share a few things that I am very grateful for that happened in 2011.

The main events in my life were Graduating College in July, and GOING TO JAPAN in May. those there the highlights of the year. I think the fact that my long time dream came true in 2011 makes it one of the best years of my life. I had a goal to go to Japan before I turned 30. In May I was 28, and so I am extremely proud that I was able to make my dream and meet my goal.

Graduating with honors in Graphic design was a big deal too. I still dont have a freaking job yet, but I'm re-thinking about what I want to do. I think a background in design has helped me with my painting very much. I'm also branching off in to crafts and hand made things (stitching a nd some emboridery) I also want to try some small scrabooking type things. Maybe not the whole scrapbook, but more like handcrafting my own greeting cards type thing.
I also want to sell my work at craft shows and so I hope to work durng the winter so I am prepared for the summer. :)

I'm also grateful for being offered full time at my job, getting benefits (which should start ina month or two) having great bosses and co-workers who really care for their staff. I have money to buy nice things, but I am hoping to save up for a nice living room set, and possibly aother trip to Japan, or somewhere else that is cool (I'd like to go back to NYC again,or maybe a week in Toronto would be nice, OR I can visit red__thread in Victoria and she can show me around Vancouver. I've been meaning to go there for a long time.

What surprised me on my flight to Japan was just HOW BIG Canada is! I think the majority of the trip was flying across Canada. Maybe 10 hours out of 13 was Canada?...Yeah!

SO, I missed Johnny;s countdown. It sucks, but I feel while I still love Arashi I am starting to move on. Never thought I would. I find I don't watch their shows anymore, and i've kind of moved aeay from Jdramas and on to Korean Dramas. It makes me a bit sad, but I know I will come back to it someday. :)

For now, I am listening to more...OMG, Should I say it? ENGLISH music. lol. But, I will be starting JAPANESE CLASSES in the New Year. ;) aroun the 14th of Jan. Hopefylly it goes well. :)

I also broke a bottle of wine today. It was alrady open because was had some at christmas. It was in a bag, so it was easy to clean up. I was getting out of the car and was slipping, and dropped it in the parking lot.

We are getting freezzing rain, and the roads are like a SHEET OF ICE. We skated to Martin's and back
I wished him a sebok-mani-baduseyo and he clapped his hands he was so happy. it means Hpapy New Year in korean.


Happiness Arashi GIF


in about 15 min subetehoshi will be here to pick me up to go to the airport!

Eeeeee. We will be in Toronto from about...dunno 8/9am until about 2pm approx when our flight leaves for Narita airport!


Was up at 4am! it's now 5am. Flight leaves at 7:20am :D
Aiba Peace

10 hours

in 10 hours I will be on a plane leaving Moncton for Toronto, then at 2 pm (3pm NB time) I will be leaving Toronto for TOKYO

I will arrive in Tokyo at 3pm (3am our time) :D


Heading to the airport at 5:15am. so thats 8hours! HOLY SHIT!